My fellow mobilist and Earthling - Mr Enrique Ortiz - gave me a chuckle in his pointer to Marc Andreessen’s posting about the Bionic Woman TV show and its plot inaccuracies.

Sure, we can pick holes in these things all day long, especially from a tech perspective. I mean, doesn’t 24 just bore you to death with all those lame calls to ‘give me a secure socket’? What about all that other baloney about ‘128-bit encryption,’ which they seem to crack anyway, usually by passing it to the tech-savy operative, some cocky nerd who probably has to ‘break all the rules’ whilst doing a quick bit of maths on the side of a Starbucks cup (vente sized). Never mind that the plot seems to be the same in all 6 seasons, obviously part of the Fox TV conspiracy to smooth the way to the ‘inevitability’ of nukes, but I exaggerate.

Given my dual world of mobile and film (I write corporate film scripts, by the way), I think that I should offer my services as a mobile tech consultant to the Hollywood studios. After all, I was researching mobile virtual reality back in the early 90s, I kid you not. If that isn’t a a ridiculous piece of fiction, I don’t know what is! Never mind surfing the internet on your phone (remember that late 90s comedy?), how about augmented reality? Jack Bauer could use VR goggles to perform open heart surgery on a villain he just accidentally tortured to death, hoping to resuscitate him just long enough to get the ‘codes’ for some gadget that serves no plot purpose whatsoever, otherwise known as a MacGuffin. Wait. Isn’t the whole show a MacGuffin, or is that McMuffin? No, I’m just getting confused by other tasteless objects.

I recently watched an interview with the Farrelly brothers in which they talked about how they store up all the amusing incidents in their lives to use as script material. I really need to start doing the same, not that I’m planning to write a comedy, but my life in mobile and tech is full of amusing moments.

Perhaps we need a comedy about all the 2.0 guff that passes for real work in the mobile tech corpus. I have to say that I increasingly feel stuck in some kind of Lynchian plot where all we do is talk about other people talking about themselves talking about what others are talking about, usually about themselves. And - it’s all on Twitter. We could be ironic (moronic?) and call it 2.0 2.0. We could be highbrow and call it Meta 2.0, or just 2.0? Wait, we’re writing a comedy here. It should be 0.2. Actually, I’m surprised that I never saw that mistake on some management ‘thought leadership’ presentation (you think, I lead).

Story, including comedy, has to incorporate exaggeration in order to work. As one of the UK’s ex-funniest comedians, Ben Elton, said - ‘You have to lie when you’re telling jokes. You can’t just say that a man went into a pub. He has to have a crocodile stuffed up his arse.’ How about an iPhone, or a Blendtec blender, or both?